The Search for the Constant

It hurts when things you thought were constants in your life change, when you think that you've finally reached that one thing that's supposed to be there for you from now until the day you die, but eventually that same thing turns out to be just another stage in your life, and you simply lose it for any reason.

Things like that make you feel completely lost, because it seems to you that there's no solid ground for you to stand on, no constants, everything's changing and running around you while you just sit there starting at your life.

You look into yourself in hope of finding that constant inside of you only to find out that even you have changed a lot without even noticing, you remember who you were, look at what you are now, and wonder how much you've changed! You just look at yourself and think "This isn't who I used to be, these aren't my thoughts, this isn't even my smile, oh God I’ve changed a lot!"

And you end up finding out that you can't be your own constant.

Then you keep looking for it, something that's not supposed to change with time, something that's never meant to be lost, something for you to grab on, that while everything else is changing it simply won't, and will just be there for you to hang on to, something that does what an anchor does for the ship in storms.

Friendship?? Tell me how many people in our lives we thought were our life companions and true friends, and that they are the constant for us throughout our life journeys, and after some time things changed? Either because of you or them that's not the problem, the problem is that even those you thought were going to continue being a constant throughout your life, turned out to be just another changing variable!

It's a hard lesson but it's the truth: even true friends come and go.

Love?? Love somehow is just a manipulated version of friendship, if you make a comparison between them both you'll simply end up thinking that they're the same thing because of their similarities.

Again tell me...the last time you were in love, didn't you think that things would last like this forever? That he/she will just be there, always there, even if EVERYTHING else in the world changes?

You sure did, but alas, today you may think you found "The One" but then it turns out to be it's not, and you find another one thinking that this is the real deal this time, and again it's not! And in the end of each time, you remember the "forever and ever" promises and just laugh.

So you learn one of life's hardest lessons, even love changes, there's no "The One" for you, it's just your mind trying to make up a constant to grab on to during the storms.

People who commit suicide mostly do it NOT because they lost a lover, friend, job, etc..., but because they lost a constant, they lost the one thing that was binding them to this life, and when they look around and can't find someone/something else to grab on to, they just let go! Because at this very moment they feel that their life is just pointless with everything changing and nothing staying the same.

It hurts, it hurts so much to realize that, I tried to ignore these thoughts but I couldn't so I thought maybe I should just let them out.

However, even if I change, even if the people around me change, and even if the whole world changes, I’ll just grab on to everything I still have for as long as I can, and I’ll appreciate what I have for as long as it's there and even after it's gone, and I’ll try as hard as I can to be a constant to everyone around me for as long as I’ll live.

Andrew George

26-05-2010

So that's why we grab on so hard to our memories: our old childhood songs, cartoons, photo albums, everything. It's the only CONSTANT on earth we know, the past simply will never be changed, it just remains the same always.


You'll never listen to your old favorite childhood song to find that the lyrics have changed like everyone changes their words.


And that old stupid cartoon you used to watch, the good guys are always the good guys and the villain remains the villain, unlike life, where you find that the good guys turned out to be the villains and the villains were actually the good guys!


And finally...you'll never look at an old picture with you and your best friend whom you used to lean on, to find out that he decided to leave the photo!!